I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
