I'm going to jail i love you
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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