did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
