scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is wine microwaveable?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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