I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
