Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
