That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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