I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
