If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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