singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
