he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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