we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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