im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
