if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
