Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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