mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize