I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
