I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
