she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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