can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
