I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize