does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
