Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
