What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I feel like abortions should bother me more
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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