Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
