Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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