if you like me you must not know who I am
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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