lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
