I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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