Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
