My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
