U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
