9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
