the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
