in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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