Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
