This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
