Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
