I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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