Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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