Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
