dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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