i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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