just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize