Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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