How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
