im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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