He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
