His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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