i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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