You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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