Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think my vagina is haunted
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
