So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm jealous of your bromance
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
