addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
