i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize