Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
