To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
