ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
