Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
