I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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