Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
