They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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