are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize