You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
