I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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